A quick google search for “abandonment” will turn up plenty of information about abandonment and its effects. Unfortunately, few of those links offer more than vague practical advice for the sufferer of its effects.

In my search for emotional health, also I read many books, which did offer all kinds of advice, ranging from praying to angels to steadfastly refusing to be anywhere else but in the “here and now”. I’m sorry to say that none of them helped much in any real way.

There are a few resources that I have found to be helpful. Here they are. (I have no connection with these resources or people except that I found them helpful.)

The Chimp Paradox

Eventually, though, I did find a book that helped. Well – it didn’t give me a quick fix. (It’s just not that easy.) It did however explain to me why fighting and hating myself was never going to work. It also offered some coping strategies, which have helped enormously.

The book is called “The Chimp Paradox“, by sports psychologist Dr Steve Peters. As he says: “Do you sabotage your own happiness and success? Are you struggling to make sense of yourself? Do your emotions sometimes dictate your life?” (If that is not a good description of what I was going through – nothing is. )

Of course, what worked for me may or may not work for you. But if you read it and try to apply Dr Peters’ advice – I hope that it does.


I have found meditation to be of some help in. However, as with other things in life there are many ways to go about it, and it is taught many ways. The most simple and effective method that I found is taught by Peter Russell. It is called “How To Meditate Without Even Trying” and it is – well just that. No smelly candles or sitting in funny positions – just a down to earth, practical method for getting to be more comfortable in your own mind. It helped me.